Waxy Bacon

So, hey there, I'm back with a brand new track aka, some newsroom shenanigans....lets get this train moving.

Yesterday afternoon we had a guest in our newsroom.  A lot of times national stations will conduct satellite interviews with guests using our studio.  This happens often and most of the time we don't even realize they are going on.

My Work BFF Frank sent out his normal email with who the guest was, what station they were talking too, etc.  The name of the guest sounded really framiliar to me. 

Was he the bail bondsman I skipped town on in Myrtle Beach? (Sorry Mom)

Was he that guy I gave a fake number too at the bar two weeks ago?

No no, this man was a legacy, this man is why my room smells like endless rows of "Fresh Springs" and "Patchouli"...the man in our studio was Harlan Kent...the CEO of Yankee Candle.

We didn't know it was him until later (I googled him)... but he left a major mark on our studio, handing us the biggest mind F%$K on all of us (I will not swear in my blogs...my mom reads these)

Shannon, the Queen of the WFSB Website, noticed that he was showing something unique during his interview.

Obivously he was hustling a candle, but this candle wasn't just something fruity mixed with flowers and topped with coconut....this candle was something that will make people run to your kitchen only to be left wondering what the "H-E-Double Hockey Sticks" is going on....

Bacon.


Yea you read that right..."MMM, BACON!"

As a vegetarian, I was rupulsed by this candle for the fact that it really is a meat scented candle.

The candle really smelled like bacon, sweet, salty, greasy, fresh from yo' mommas house bacon.

Shannon has a child that can eat a pound of back on 7 minutes and 37 seconds so she obviously took the candle home to torture her child and light it up and have him thinking he is having bacon for dinner but he will be left bewildered.  She can blame his eventual teenage angst on Harlan.

Homeboy was also pimpin' out a popcorn scented candle...I didn't find this one appealing at all either...
 I am not sure what is next for America's Best Loved Candle....maybe a veggie burger scented candle...All I know... I am going to stick to my "Meadow Springs" and "Ocean Breeze" scents.

Comments

  1. UnknownMay 6, 2013 at 5:09 AM

    Maybe he'll start making candles that smell like entire meals as you burn through each layer! Like the candle equivalency to Willa Wonka's 'meal gum'!

    ReplyDelete

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